we tend to go about our days automatically avoiding pain. especially emotional pain. i know now that the ultimate act of self compassion is to do the opposite. when pain stabs me from an unexpected source, as it does many times each day, i have learned to turn towards the pain. to close my eyes for exactly the amount of time it takes to acknowledge and notice the pain. to get familiar with it. to not run from it any more. to say to it: “these thoughts, pain. these feelings, pain. these urges, pain.” doing this helps me be less pushed around by the pain. and the pain does not last as long as i used to think it would. more importantly: i learn to survive the pain over and over again. practicing my pain survival skills without objection or avoidance lowers my overall pain level because i gain confidence in my skills with every practice session. pain no longer freaks me out the way it used to.
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