Archive for June, 2015

A foundry would be out of place in a medieval landscape, don’t you
agree? But she didn’t. She’d been wondering if she’d left
the door open and the oven on. When she went out. To meet her
future husband, the kind of man she’d never leave regardless
of how many abusive nights, countless doubtful insults, and
barely any moments of misunderstanding between them.
Because misunderstanding might have led somewhere else.
You know the rest. I don’t even have to finish that sentence
for you.


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Abusive relationships can be predicted in situations of intermittent reinforcement of the relationship. In situations in which the lover is unpredictably and variably reinforced by expressions of caring, or momentary relief of abuse, the lover is kept in a situation of relative deprivation with respect to the infrequent joys of the relationship. Each moment of seductive hope thus takes on a higher position in the lover’s hierarchy of sought after rewards. The lover is progressively shaped towards an insanity of devotion to the abuser, kept both fed and hungry in just the right balance to perpetuate violence, despair and fear. I think it is a mistake to locate the causes of these patterns within our-“selves.”

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