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Archive for June, 2013



The field of irony is vast and often submerged beneath our everyday existence. Kierkegaard wrote about committment in human affairs as a way of bemoaning the loss of meaning in modern life. For him the most astounding fact of modernity was the loss of interest in irony, which is self creation. Especially in the realm of piety, he saw humanity on a destruction course. In a post Renaissance age when the arts, sciences and philosophy were all flourishing like never before, he nevertheless felt a gnawing hubris at work in the spiritual places. The enlightenment, its infatuation with reason, had purported to sweep away faith in the suprasensible. What was left was a self-conscious irony of art, of music, poetry, and a calculus of moral revolution designed to remove all earthly corruption and cruelty. All reverence for that liberal hope, certainly! But it seems odd that we in the modern world should applaud so easily the long work of the artist who strives to the last to re-describe herself again and again, surpassing all her prior creations, that we would accept art or the social revolutionary, even “personal self discovery” as the tasks of a lifetime, but not accord the same to piety. Nowadays, as Kierkegaard predicted, it seems to me that communal striving towards a suprasensible vision gets subsumed in the watered down sanctimony of “spiritual” or “personal” growth, never to be overspoken or over emphasized, lest someone be offended, or distracted. Now we all must pledge obedience at the altar of self-actualization and seek the blessing of the non-directive, and the politically correct. The problem is that this all too often cedes the field of pious effort to fundamentalist groups and their crusades to rescue various holy lands from contemporary infidels (e.g. the “gays” of California).

When our sense of the pious, of the reverential, of the revealed and the sacred lies forever beneath a public gauze of humiliation and shame, when we are afraid to display our hopes, our dreams, our desires and our vision of the good life, what will we say when the world is made over in another’s image? If we do not send the team out now, to embody a religion of compassion, what rough beast will take the field in our name, bend our will, and slink carelessly toward Bethlehem to be born?


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Contradiction of entropy was forever my poetic aim. To
extract distance from every sense, assurance from
every emotion and the last sign of contemplation which
when expressed might be complete. Since imbued
with the oblique track of sadness, trapped inside me for a
piece of time, I contradicted my limit, grew away from
the circle of life—thus much was enough. Emulate
I said, emulate, and be done. That’s where the love is.
Close the room, rip the peel from an orange, adjourn
the love tryst of mass and energy. My faith in the balance.
From there we burn our way back to earth. Enter
the atmosphere a hopeless curve against a tangent
of orbital tendencies, bounce once over the Atlantic,
and seek nothing but a breezy landing on a southwest evening,

slowly. Slowly.
Love forever grows more slowly than leaves.



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My current project is to notice and amplify emotional flexibility. What does that mean, specifically? To be emotionally flexible is to be intimate with an emotion without reacting to it in a urge-full and impulsive manner. The idea is to be able to validate the emotion, and not be ruled by it. An example for me would involve validating anger when someone behaves in a way that I experience as violent or threatening, and not reacting in kind. It’s a matter of validating my emotions about someone jumping off a cliff right in front of me, without having to jump off with them. For my own emotional health, I need to find a different path to validation. From now on I want my question to be, always, “how can I respond rather than react, to this important event?”


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Question for the day: how can I be more compassionate, more intimate, more kind, more aware and more courageous with whatever I’m feeling right now?



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One of the most enduring dialectics of human reason is the polarity between necessity and contingency. That is, the distinction between that which must be and that which may be otherwise. On this basis we conceive God, the soul, the atom, the big bang, time and space, freedom and love. On the other hand we think of bodies, motion, mass, energy and hell. The avoidable and the unavoidable. That which endures and that which is equivocal. But are they not all of the same world? Does the universe not contain everything we name or could possibly name? The rational and the irrational? The explainable and the unappreciated? Heaven and hell? Can we really say that what the mind conceives, exists therefore? That the most knowable is the most real? When we forget ourselves, that is when I think we fall into error. When we divide ourselves against ourselves, that is when we re-member suffering. That is when dis-ease seems necessary, once more.


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chicago13-3 copy


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                                    itinerary
                                             1. a planned route or journey
                                             2. a travel document recording these


indifference delayed me a moment before we left.
you seemed to want something more. what then: a
a comfortable tale, a mission statement, my fears
in a stuff sack perhaps? would you pack them away

with the trail mix, the water purifier, the tent, the sleeping
bags and the spare dry socks?

to be examined every night before we turned out the moon and fell
asleep side by side as we’ve done these twenty years.

i remember the first time
i felt your back under my hand as we danced.
your breath on my neck as you held me.

like every thought you shared with me on our maiden date,
the promise you made me keep when the bill came
and i wanted to pay for our first dinner together.

the lantern like me that tried to catch you.

poets exercise their fingers with their poems and i think
you were a song you made me play so i should never forget how to love.



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i wanted more from our relationship than
just another piece of evidence. i wanted more than an excuse
for moodiness. i think you did too. but the child that smiled and ran
knew all our lies and not one truth worth telling anyone.
why is it do you think that instead of wasting time
in lonely spaces where everyone is talking all the time,
you have never found enough silence in which
to grow something someone will remember?


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color_composit_merge10 copy


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tardy with words i realize
i could step off these hills
into nothing and still

not know your name



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